Those of us who've been in therapy know that the real breakthroughs come after the session is over. You'll be riding home on the bus and suddenly shout, "Oh my god! That's why I wanted to have sex with my grandmother!" And that's why we've made After Therapy Mints. These deliciously potent marvels are specially formulated to help you process everything that came out during your session. As soon as you hand the therapist the check, pop one into your mouth and wait for the epiphanies to flow. Even if they don't come right away, you'll be rewarded with a minty blast that freshens your breath and clears your mind. They also come in a cool, reusable tin, that can hold your Paxils, Welbutrins, Xanaxes, and Prozacs with room left over for the next day's pills, too.
Four out of five therapists recommend After Therapy Mints for their patients who eat mints.
They're simply wonderful! A gourmet mint that you'll never forget.
Anyone who's ever been in love knows that kissing is an art form. It requires technique, sensitivity, and the ability to improvise when necessary. Like other art forms, kissing also requires preparation. If you just dive in without doing the necessary groundwork you're simply asking for trouble. And that's where Before The Kiss Peppermints come into the picture. These amazingly effective mints help prepare you for some serious smooching. As soon as you suspect the "game is on," pop one or two into your mouth and let these little wonders work their magic. In mere seconds, your breath will feel as crisp and fresh as a frosted pine needle in a snow-covered forest. (analogy fans, please hold your applause) Before The Kiss Peppermints come packaged in a reusable tin, beautifully decorated with Klimt's masterpiece "The Kiss." Mwah!
So cool! How do you keep your breath minty and refreshed? Your secret is safe with us - and classic Batman. Net wt. .40 oz. (12 g.)
So strong! The classic image of Superman on a tin full of minty flavor. They're super! Net wt. .40 oz. (12 g.)
So mighty! A tin full of mints to keep your breath fresh while the classic image of Wonder Woman takes your breath away! Net wt. .40 oz. (12 g.)
Whether you're changing into your suit or your cardigan - whether you're coming home or going out into the neighborhood - you'll have more confidence with pepperminty fresh breath!
Won't you have one or two Mister Rogers' Encouragemints!?
Won't you, please? Please, won't you, please?
Don't worry about how full you are - these wafer-thin after-dinner mints will refresh you. They definitely won't make you explode. Or will they?
One Tuesday morning not so long ago, we arrived at UPG Headquarters to discover a smoldering goat's head at our doorstep. Naturally, we were alarmed. We were certain that goat's head wasn't smoldering when we closed up shop Monday night. Upon closer inspection, we discovered a singed piece of parchment beside it. We tentatively unrolled it to reveal demonic runes scrawled with blood (or possibly a red Sharpie). It took us weeks to decipher, but we eventually discovered it was a recipe for a devilishly-hot candy called Sin-o-Mints. So we packaged these spicy-hot wonders in an amazing tin bearing an illustration of Lucifer himself and made them available to you. If you'd like the recipe, just send us a note and a self-addressed box big enough to hold a smoldering goat's head.
Stale breath? Get it OUT of here! This little mint will make all your bluster fresher. Pop a mint in before you mouth off and everything you say will be... nicer.
So cool! How do you keep your breath minty and refreshed? Your secret is safe with us - and classic Batman. Net wt. .40 oz. (12 g.)
