I bought a new wrinkle cream.
If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month.
Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks.
I ate it.

As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word.

In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all.

So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.

“Rita Rudner is hard to beat for quick takes …. Tales about dining out in L.A. late at night, driving to Mexico with new (and irresponsible) friends or grappling with computer errors are humorous.”
—The Miami Herald

RITA RUDNER is a celebrated and award-winning comedian, actress, screenwriter, and author. Her past books include the bestselling Naked Beneath My Clothes and the novels Tickled Pink and Turning the Tables. She currently performs exclusively in Las Vegas. Visit her online at www.RitaFunny.com.